at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
