office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
