Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
