yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
