I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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