I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
