my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
