You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
