I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
