I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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