My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
