For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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