I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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