And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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