I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
