so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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