WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
