I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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