I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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