I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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