It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
