You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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