i may or may not be watching the land before time
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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