I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
ttyl tear gas
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
