Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
