i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
