that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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