Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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