Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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