bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
