guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
