i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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