Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize