Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He did a backflip because drugs
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
