I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I currently don't understand fingers.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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