is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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