clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
