How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize