So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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