I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
