My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize