the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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