I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
