problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You can't motorboat a personality
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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