Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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