Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
