Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
