Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
