Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
