it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
