Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
