I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
