Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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