I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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