I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
...so i touched it.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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