It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize