I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
