Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
