Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
