9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I think i got beer on your cat.
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