trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
