wrigley field is MILF paradise
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
